We’re in the final days of 2017 and I am giving 8 weeks of online tips and tools to help you wrap up your goals for 2017 and move into 2018 with confidence.
A confidence system includes #RelationalConfidence building that creates an optimistic environment that feeds self-belief, trust in yourself and others in your network, and faith in unknown outcomes. It may take time to find the perfect system but, when you do, #RenewableConfidence will be more attainable.
Confidence is defined as having belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities. “Confidence In Action” (CIA) is having trust and belief in the decisions and choices you make and faith in the actions and outcomes that follow. The core action step to start developing confidence is the formulation of personal habits. For example, this year, I started the habit of incorporating one minute of mindfulness meditation into my morning routine. Upon rising, I read a meditation script (thanks to Dr. Jaleel, my wellness coach) and mentally visualize my day. Soon I started to notice that I was more focused and more productive throughout the day.
However, a challenge appeared when I began to take on more work, and in that one minute, I was worrying more rather than meditating. I eventually stopped meditating and was again feeling a lack of focus and anxiety about successfully managing my work. I realized I needed to find a quiet, neutral environment that was free from distractions. I then began the habit of arriving at the gym an hour earlier each morning and while working out during the quietest time at the gym, I’d look at motivation and meditation videos. The result was higher energy, more productivity throughout the day, less stress, and an overall good feeling about my health.
When forming habits, think of what works best to impact multiple areas of your #ConfidenceZones. The four broad zones include: self, career, relationships, and personal space (home and safety).
Now it’s your turn. What is a habit you can implement now to create a confidence building system for success? Here are 5 proven examples.
Practice Meditation: Meditate at least one to five minutes daily. This can be at any time during the day, upon rising, before bed, while walking (one of my favorite times), and during work breaks. Many scripts are available online. Simply search “mindfulness meditation.” A video of Dr. Jaleel’s approach is HERE.
Adopt a Personal Mantra: Many have a favorite quote, or phrase, or mantra that they repeat often and publicly post as a reminder of how they wish to approach life each day. It can be anything that inspires and motivates you and that speaks to your uniqueness. My mantra for self-confidence is HERE.
Start Conversations with Strangers: My husband is great at this and I’ve also learned it from successful people. Yesterday, my husband and I were in a long holiday check-out line and my husband noticed the person behind us was buying cat food. “I have one of those,” my husband says. From then on, a conversation with a pleasant gentleman (who owned six cats) and my husband ensued. Upon leaving the store, they both had huge, cheerful smiles on their faces. Be a conversation starter. It expands your thinking, uplifts your mood, and gets you out of your own head and connected to society and a higher purpose, rather than being detached from it.
Eliminate Judgement: As I look back over the years, I now realize that I cut a lot of people off or out of my life because of this unconscious habit of judgment. Let it go and adopt nonjudgment in its place. This practice of listening and observing without judging will open up the world to you. Whereas this door was previously cracked, now it will swing wide open. This is called learning and experiencing life through other’s eyes. Become very good at it and the people you need to complete your confidence building system will be drawn to you.
Implement A Routine to Brag About Yourself: If you’re shy or an introvert, this is especially for you. There are many ways to brag either directly by talking face-to-face or through communication channels. Do as many as possible for each day of the week (yes, each day!). You can post a blog one day a week, a podcast on another day, post social media images and messages during the other days, and talk to everyone you know on the others. It’s not as hard as you think, you just need to have a system in place.
Follow this blog series at www.drvbrooksdunbar.com/blog
Dr. V. Brooks Dunbar,
THE CONFIDENCE COMMANDER
Author, DIVA DECISIONS: How to Get from Smart to Intelligent by Claiming Your Power of Choice
Twitter: @DrVDunbar @cent4confidence